Monday, May 15, 2006

*JUST CURIOUS*

I often wonder when I meet people what their history is? Not so much their heritage/ancestry kind of history but the history of their life and what brought them to where they are now.

For instance, my children are growing up in a complete different scenario then I did. I grew up in the exact same home since I was 5 years old. In fact my mom still lives in that home. My children have never lived in a home that they could ever imagine bringing their children to when they grow up. Although I must say that my inner being has not allowed me to feel that way about a home either. I had the same friends growing up, and now realize how important my kids friendships are to them. I feel like they actually form much deeper friendships than I did because I always knew I had time to get to know someone better, whereas the kids know that their time with these friends is limited. I still tend to keep myself at a slight detachment because I know that this is our life.

We have made 5 moves with my husbands company, although I have met many people who have made up to 19 moves with kids. Most of theirs are grown now and it is very helpful to me that they have all become successful, happy, well rounded adults. I think most people might think that my kids will be in therapy as adults because of the constant uprooting. My guess is that now that my eldest is in high school and the possibilities of moving are upon us once again, it is starting to wear on him. He and my youngest have both already told us that they are NOT GOING!!!

But as you know all roads tend to lead back to my BIRTH ORDER book. When the rumors of moving begin, my eldest tends to grieve and mourn immediately, his detachment process is inevitable. The two in the middle 13 & 10, boy & girl, are pleasers. They do not like to ruffle feathers. They tend to be pretty gung ho about the process, until we arrive. Their sadness and feelings of loss kick in in the first days at their new school, when they realize they do not know a soul; even more of a reality is that know one knows them.
As for my baby 7 year old boy; he was 3 when we moved here and could not possibly remember the feelings of loss from moving. Although this next round will be different. It is my guess that he will react like my eldest. I tend to nickname them my bookends. The oldest and the youngest are so similar. The two in the middle, my books if you will, are also a pair.

The good we see out of moves is that the kids do get excited about surfing the net for a new home, the people who have come into our lives are such a gift, we thank GOD for e-mail and the all in one price for long distance that exist now. We have friends in many places now and enjoy keeping in touch with them all.

Many people ask us how we can move so many times, first remember his company moves us. They come in pack everything up and unpack us in the new home. We are always compensated well, and we are always guaranteed our home will be bought back if it doesn't sell so that we do not lose out on the $$$$. The annoying part is that my two older boys have always been in advanced classes and EVERYWHERE we have moved each school system thinks that their school has "higher standards" and they are always placed in a regular class environment until they can be tested then 100% of the time they are pulled out to be put in the classes they belong in. It is ridiculous. They already have formed friends in the class to have to readjust all over again. We almost chuckle now when a school office says, Oh but our standards here are quite high" BLAH BLAH BLAH

NOW MY QUESTION...

Did you grow up moving around or within a close-knit environment?

How do you think that has affected who you are now? (Are you raising your kids differently?)

Movin' Mom: HOME

1 comment:

kvetch said...

I lived in the same house from age 5 until 26. I am 42 and my parents still live there. My children, ages 14 and 10, have lived in NJ, IL, OH, AZ and back to IL...all in the past 12 years. I won't move again, but I don't have to. We've been here 7 years and its the longest I've lived anywhere since I was 26. I think roots are important, but sometimes we don't have choices.