DR. KEITH ABLOW HAD A MOM ON THE SHOW TODAY THAT DOES NOT ALLOW HER 13 YEAR OLD CHILD ANY ACCESS AT ALL
TO THE INTERNET. NOT EVEN FOR SCHOOL PROJECTS. APPARENTLY SHE (THE MOM) WAS RAPED BY A FAMILY FRIEND WHEN SHE WAS 14.
HE HAD GUESTS ON THE SHOW WHO HAVE BEEN AFFECTED BY EITHER A STALKER, OR RAPEST, AND EVEN A GIRL WHO PUT A NUDE PICTURE OF HERSELF ON MYSPACE ALONG WITH A FRIEND WHO WAS A TEEN. SHE WAS ARRESTED.
HE IS TRYING TO PRESENT HER WITH A LOAD OF INFORMATION SO THAT SHE CAN DETERMINE THE BEST POSSIBLE ROUTE TO TAKE WITH HER DAUGHTER.
"MYSPACE UNRAVELED" IS A BOOK AN EXPERT WROTE WHOSE OPINION IS THE INTERNET IS NOT ANY DIFFERENT THEN WALKING DOWN THE STREET. YOU TAKE PRECAUTIONS. YOU DON'T WALK DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET OR YOUR GOING TO GET HIT. YOU DON'T GIVE PEOPLE ONLINE A MAP TO YOUR HOME OR YOUR GOING TO GET "HIT"
HE FELT THAT THE MOM NEEDED TO ALLOW HER DAUGHTER ONLINE OTHERWISE SHE COULD GO "UNDERGROUND". AFTERALL HER DAUGHTER WOULD HAVE ACCESS AT A FRIENDS, OR EVEN THE LIBRARY.
I did not become a mother to raise children that are just alive when they grow up. I became a mother so that I could help guide my children to grow into healthy,giving, loving adults. I want them to be able to make good decisions, to know right from wrong, to know how to make great memories and still be safe, to live life.
When one of my boys was in the 5th grade, he had a boy in his class send out an email titled XXX. I was able to intercept it before all of the kids got home from school and called all parents involved. After each parent interviewing their own child,
we determined that while at a "playdate" at this boys home they were exposed to things that they didn't even want to think about.
I, as a parent had to explain to my son how this is not reality. These people are acting. They get paid to lure you in so that you will keep coming back. Even worse it is addicting. You may not want to go back but those images get embedded in your mind for a lifetime. I wanted to make sure that he knew this was not normal behavior. Mommy's and Daddy's don't do that, and you can never have those kind of expectations of your wife or any female in your life. Some of what they saw had animals.
Now as much of a nightmare as that was. It was such a huge learning situation. No, if I had to do it all over again, I would not want it to have happened that way, but it did.
I am a firm believer in every mistake is a lesson. It is when you do not learn from it that mistake that you fail and not my son fail but me. I also learned from that mistake.I was letting him go to someones home where the computer is not monitored.
There are many friends I had who thought I was CRAZY to let my son go back online but I did. Yes, there have been other online issues with him that we have had to discuss but none of those have been about porn.
(I am frightened to think of the search engine people who are going to show up on my meter)
As parents, we have to give our children the freedom to live. Yes, we need to protect them. But hiding them in a closet, with padded walls will only create a caged animal, and a frightening adult who has just been let out in public. An adult that still hasn't learned some of life's simple lessons is a scary thought.
I don't want to hear my kids say that they can't wait until their 18 to get their freedom, I want them to LOVE being the age that they are. There will always be things that happen that are concerning, even when they become adults. It is my job to give them the tools on how to react to the good, the bad, and the ugly!
It's an exhausting job, but it's why I had kids.