Friday, March 30, 2007

Peace in our home

As I've mentioned in the past, a huge pet peeve of mine are parents who allow their children to do whatever they want and then complain because they do not behave. Sure it's easier to give in, especially when your out in public but that only hurts your ability to parent successfully. I am not trying to "claim" that I have it all figured out because there is a level of chaos that goes on in our home. However, having children of many ages and stages along with all of their friends who vary in their upbringing and behavior I have found that it can be very exhausting to set the ground rules every single time someone new was in our home. I would like to say that I could depend on my children to set those rules with their own friends but...that doesn't always work. I found myself disciplining my own children for their friends actions.

So a few years back I came up with a system of posting our family rules for all to see. The funniest part of this system is when my two older boys have friends over, I see these teenagers reading them. They have even called my children out on breaking some of the rules. I write them on a dry erase board so that I can update it as need be. For instance, our oldest had 4 boys (wrestlers) sleep over one night before a tournament. One of the boys was making watermelon, fried chicken comments to another. When I spoke out and told him that it was not acceptable, he said,"Oh Mrs. C it's okay I've known him since 1st grade!" I had to have a more lengthy conversation with him and then the next day I added the NO RACISM to the board. I have also had to add some pretty silly ones, but you know...it is really true when the experts say that kids WANT rules because while at a sport function at school I overheard a boy say to my son..."Hey that's against your mom's rules!" I try to keep as much humor attached to it as possible. My oldest has always had those lawyer type tactics. He needs to see the rules in black and white (or color like i have it). He may have slapped his brother but if I ask, "did you just punch your brother?' He will deny it because he slapped him not punched him. I have to be very clear with my interrogation. You know, you want a smart kid but their intelligence can come back and bite you in the rear end if your not careful.


It takes a lot of un-needed stress off my shoulders and all of these kids continue to come back to my home and hang out, so they can't be too horribly strict for them. Although I do wear the "strictest mom in town" award with pride! As long as my kids behave in public and show integrity when I am not around then I don't mind being the ogre at home. I really just want everyone to HAVE FUN!










10 comments:

tommiea said...

love the rules...I can't wait for mine to be able to read!!

Arlene said...

The dry erase rule is a great idea, and we have an unused dry erase board hanging up right now!
Normally I'll state the rules when the visiting kids come over as soon as they get there!
My family tells me I'm a drill sergeant, and that they've never once worried about taking my kids in public, because they will always behave!! Drill Sergeant or not, my kids love me and prefer my house over dad's, who gives them anything and everything, so I must be doing something right :-)

Mega Mom said...

Wait...who is this stranger commenting...

I love this! Diane keeps telling me you have been writing a lot, but honestly all I do is check e-mails nowadays.

I ALWAY discipline my kids when their FRIENDS are doing something wrong! I've also realized I have no problem disciplining other kids when I need to! I'm adopting this in my house today!!! I LOVED seeing G. Miss you!!!

me said...

mooning???!!!! NO mooning? are you a meanie or what? the rule in my house is always "body parts must be covered", everyone knows this. So one fine day a couple years ago someone mooned an opposing team out of my car window...."but it wasn't in the house" was the argument.

movin'mom said...

tommiea- you could always do a dry erase picture board :) hee hee

arlene- I am actually labeled by relatives as "the interrogator" & "Hitler" they threaten all of my nieces and nephews to be sent to me for boot camp.

MM- :o OMG welcome back to the cyber world my friend.

me- that's exactly the kind of reasoning I'm dealing with here, I have often threatened to moon them myself if it doesn't stop...they run for the hills :)

tess said...

My son and his friends think I have super hearing powers (we just have a small home) When they break our house rules I yell "unexceptable". They get real quiet and I hear them say "How does she know???" The other day one of my son's friends told another to stop playing with Mrs. S's excersize ball. The ball player said "she's upstairs" Friend #1 said "believe me, she knows all" He He

Nicole said...

What I great idea! I'm on my way to get a dry erase board right now!

movin'mom said...

tess- we both know your home is not small...you DO have super hearing powers!!

movin'mom said...

oops...I meant to add Nicole to that -
Part of the fun is asking the kids what rules they already think you have. Our board initially started out with about 8 family rules that we decided on together.

Mayberry said...

This is great. You are my mommy hero!