These teens are gonna be the death of me.

(or at least drive me to drink) * 2nd glass of wine! :)

Our evenings consist of one of the two teens trying to be the first to clean the kitchen (after dinner) so they have that to barter for instant messenger time. Tonight it was the oldest who won. I only gave him 20 minutes (which in teen time is really only 20 seconds) to chat then his brother got his time.

I sent the two younger ones to bed at 8:30 with no problems at all. I called down to the basement at 9pm (to the teens) "BEEEEEDTIIIIIME!" no response. I called their names. NO RESPONSE. I walked downstairs and saw one of them laying on-top of the coffee table pretending to be asleep, but his body was shaking uncontrollably. So I threaten a grounding for a week and suddenly he jumps up! I know without a doubt in my mind that the oldest is hiding somewhere because I can hear him silently laughing. So I threaten again..."If your brother doesn't get up in 2 seconds
he will be grounded for 2 weeks!" Up he jumps from behind the sofa. They both laugh hysterically!

They go upstairs, I pour myself a glass of wine and sit down for "The Apprentice."

My 14 year old comes down in his boxers,"Mommy, I'm too scared to go to bed!" (let me repeat that out loud for you again...yes ...14 year old ....too scared to go to bed!)

I don't even pay attention to him, I just give him that look and he knows he better just get to bed.

He looks at me again with that little smirk and says,"I'm scared!"

"OF WHAT?"

He said his brother...and that he is planning something on him. He's scared of what he will do!

This completely irritates me because I am missing The Apprentice.

So I quietly go upstairs and signal my other teen to stay downstairs and be quiet, (assuming he will pop up his surprise on me thinking it's his little brother) They are constantly hiding under beds, bathrooms...wherever just to scare each other.

He comes out of the bathroom looking guilty and I yell at him! He laughs and responds with, "I was in the bathroom and he opened the door and threw a glass of water at me!"

Of course my 14 year old did not tell me that he started it.

(you can imagine the learned parental skill it took to refrain from laughter while establishing who the pack leader was in our house)

I can tell my oldest is still laughing when I send his 14 year old brother to bed. I said, "Go to bed, I will take care of this!"

From another room we hear a huge scream...my oldest falls on the floor laughing... and my 14 year old son comes running in with his boxers soaking wet. (my oldest had poured a glass of water onto his bed so that when he lied down in the dark his boxers would get soaked) This was his retaliation. I lost my game face. They were both laughing so hard...I lost it.

The I made the oldest dry his mattress as much as he could with a towel so I could change the sheets.

I couldn't let this go, (my kids always make fun of my creative "johnny on the spot" threats) so my "big threat" here, which made them both laugh was, "You love retaliation so much and you know our golden rule (treat others the way you want to be treated) I will be waking you both up tomorrow at 5am with a cup of water in both your faces!"

They both looked at me and and burst out laughing.

I stomp down the stairs mumbling, "I better not have missed all of the Apprentice!"

(Dang it...they were already in the boardroom, I missed the entire task)

Here's a task Donald...welcome to my life!