Friday, May 25, 2007

Be Careful What You Wish For...

You always hope that your home is the home that all of the kids are at, until one day you wake up and realize,
YOUR home is the home where all the kids are at!!!

Kids we love, kids who's company we enjoy, kids who respect our rules! So what's wrong with this picture?

The two older boys (who actually do belong to me) are 5'10 & 5'9. HUGE appetites that are always growling. What I didn't think about or prepare for was that my home would be filled with 8-10 other boys who also have the same if not bigger appetites.Some are way over 6' tall. Last weekend, we had a home full of boys from the time school got out on friday afternoon until Sunday at dinnertime. I had just gone to the grocery store and like the tasmanian devil whipping through, my kitchen was bare.

One night we were making hamburgers (thank God) and my eldest had 3 friends here. The doorbell rings and it's a pair of brothers, each friends with each of my two boys. The doorbell rings again, 2 more boys my 8th grader is friends with. 9 teenage boys woofing down burgers & then asking for seconds. I say, what about me???? Do I get to eat?

My 8th grader has tried to convince them to maybe hang out at their house, but it is always unanimous, they want to be here. I would never in a million years ever deny them my home, everyone is always welcome.

I could seriously write a book on all of the mishaps that have happened, like the time 6 sophomores who walked in at midnight with 2 twelve packs of mountain dew and a bottle of NO DOSE wanting to pull an all-nighter playing guitar hero. But there I was to counsel while Movin' Dad slept. Then in the same evening 8th graders boys decide to get up and boil water for hot chocolate, except they turned the burner on high with no flame, couldn't figure it out so just walked away. YES, my home filled with gas for 45 minutes before I discovered it. You all know we would have been a 20/20 segment because no one would have woken up that next day.

I have been trying to figure out why our home is the place to be. We have some stuff for the teens to use like a PS2, guitar hero, DDR, air hockey, a music room filled with drums, guitars etc....But they have friends with indoor pools, tanning beds etc....

I made an executive decision last week that we have to get a trampoline. For the worriers of the world, I already know they can be dangerous. Remember my dry erase board? I will have rules outside as well. So far the kids all are very respectful of our indoor rules so I cannot imagine outdoors would be different. I just want them all to exert their energy before coming into our home. Of course that will probably only increase their appetites which is a never ending circle.

But I realized that living in a small town which probably has all of the values you could ever hope for, there is one difference.
My kids are constantly asking me about divorce, step parents, girlfriends of dads, boyfriends of moms. Everywhere we have ever lived, our kids may have known one or two kids who couldn't hangout because they were at their dads for the weekend. They never had a reason to ask us questions about that because most of their friends were in two parent homes.
I am not sure why the majority of their friends here are in single parent homes, in fact my 8th grader only has one good friend who has married parents. Then it hit me. A lot of my high schoolers friends have had girlfriends for 1 or 2 years, which is crazy from our past towns. I think kids here marry young and then the marriages aren't always successful. I think there are rare instances where people marry their high school sweetheart and then stay married but again...I think it's rare. How many kids do you think are ready to get married at the age of 18?

There's not a lot to do in a small town.

Anyway, I realized that last weekend, a lot of my boys friends hung out with us, Movin' dad and I. Maybe it's that they are just missing the family unit as a whole.
What do I know...I'm not Dr. Phil.

I really just needed a sounding board, because as I said before, I would prefer that they are here than somewhere else, I love all of these kids, they are good, respectful kids who find great humor in calling me mom!
But occasionally I need to vent about the crazy things that they do, the lack of food in my home, the girls who stay until midnight....and so on.


Arlene said...

You should ask their parents for grocery money ;-) Just kidding! It's nice that your home is the "place to be" but at the same time, I can see getting annoyed sometimes. I mean, I know how much food costs, and to be feeding so many growing boys, that don't even belong to you! But, at least they're all happy and out of trouble :-)
The trampoline will be lots of fun!

mayberry said...

The best was the kid who wanted to stop by and pick up a soda, as if your house was the 7-11!

I think you are on to something with the kids being attracted to the stable home with the nice parents. And the drums.

tommiea said...

I think kids linger where they know they can have fun without chaos. They know there are limits and boundries.

That is the home I strive to have....with only a 2 and 3 year old...(I know, late having kids here!) but we already have that home.

Though I did not get a "bounce" (trampoline) this summer since hubby is gone, but we will get one next spring.

I would much rather have kids at my home that to be at someone elses.

btw, I love your music picks!