Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I think I write a lot about my eldest because through him I am presented with the path I have yet to travel.
For instance college. I didn't go that route after high school because I graduated with a cosmetology license.
In all honesty, it took every fiber in my being to get out of high school.

My oldest son is trying to choose colleges where he can apply. Yesterday, he took his Act test. I find myself learning this entire system and the steps needed to take to get into the right college for him. I have 3 more following him soon after so I ought to be a pro by the time my youngest reaches his senior year.

I know everything should be golden right now. I want him to enjoy this process and all that comes along with it. I want him to make memories and get involved in the "fun" that comes with high school. I'm just not sure if that is happening. He is very social,
and has more friends than I did. But when we moved from Wisconsin, he left a girlfriend waiting.

I struggle with this because he is only 16, and she is 15. I really don't understand how a long distance relationship can work when it's out of state. We have absolutely no intention of ever going back to Wisconsin. He knows this. He also knows that we have laid out our moral values his entire life and there is NO WAY we are sending him back to visit a girlfriend at his age.
I know this is something he needs to figure out on his own, but I cannot stand the fact that there's a dance this weekend and all their friends are out buying corsages and making their plans. My son has chosen to not attend.

His girlfriend came to visit with her mom a few weeks ago. But I even struggled with that. Their so young and yet I know that the feelings are real. I am not just concerned for my son, I am concerned for his girlfriend as well. I don't think it is fair to her either to be missing out on memories because she is trying to be true to my son.

It's a crazy situation. At times I wish I could just get it over with and dictate my demands. Reveal to him my experiences. But I have too much respect for him. I want him to learn and make his own mistakes. I want him to come to his own conclusion,
I just hope he can do that without any regrets.


Mayberry said...

That is so hard! You have the benefit of experience but yet you just have to let him figure it out for himself. Very difficult.

me said...

because I have one year seniority on these things, I tell you with all certainity, that this too shall pass. One of them will sooner or later meet someone new and poof. While I know how hard it is to watch our kids miss something, I also know what you mean, They need to figure some things out all by themselves.

GOOD LUCK with the search for higher education, even better luck with figuring out the financial end of, I joke because I am so tired of it. My oldest finally chose, and off to Philly he goes in the fall.

Glad to see you back! Maybe one day I will summon the nerve to post again....