Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Dare I fill in the gaps?

Perhaps... but not all at once. I shall periodically leave small anecdotes of the chapters unspoken!

Fast forward to life now...as it stands.
I am now emotionally coping with my eldest away at college. He isn't far but he is away. I believe that the "coping" actually has more to do with his new found independence than the "away"-ness of it all. He and I have the occasional text and even less occasional phone call. When I dropped him off at school, everyone was fully anticipating my tears... even me! As he walked us to the car, there was an uncomfortable silence surrounding our family. Who would start the goodbye? Then my son looked at me and said, "Okay mommy, I'm going to walk over to you.... hug you ... and then I am going to walk away!"
I miss his daily presence in my life. I miss his embrace. I miss his smile. I miss him.

That being said, we were both ready for this chapter of his life to begin. He needed college life to begin. Moving him mid-senior year (this would be one of those small anecdotes I'm filling in) My husband took a buyout package after 20 years with the same company. He is now with another company and that job moved us to Texas mid senior year for our eldest. He was given the opportunity to graduate early which benefited him. He didn't have to try and transfer credits, or find out that he was missing some freshman class credit he would have to take senior year. However, he became a couch potato faster than I could eat a bag of potato chips. He finally got a job at a pizza place and then onto a manger job at our neighborhood pool. This created a very busy boy with money! Then the day came....when he turned 18.

What is it about the magic number 18 that makes a young man believe that all rules go out the door? Suddenly everything followed with, "But I'm 18 years old!"
"It's bedtime!" "But...I'm 18 years old!"
"Someone needs to do the dishes" "But I'm 18 years old!"
"Be home at midnight" "But...I'm 18 years old!"
"WHY would you buy cigars.... you have asthma?" "Because...I'm 18 years old!"
You get the picture!

As I go back to my original thought.... I miss him with everything in my being.... but it was time!
I texted him over Labor Day weekend.

Do you have any big plans this weekend?
His response:
IDK Y do u ask?
Because it's Labor Day weekend and it's really weird not knowing your plans now that your gone!
His response:
I thoroughly enjoy that!

Needless to say, this has been an adjustment for me.
-Today he is sick.
-a few days ago he got a speeding ticket.
-last week he hated bio
-now a smart-hot girl is helping with bio and all is well.

-Going out to eat I still ask for a table for 6.
-I need to stop grabbing 6 forks at dinner time, we only need 5.
-It took me 3 weeks before i could go back into his bedroom and clean.
-when I dropped him off at pre-school he cried and wouldn't let me go
-when I dropped him off at college I cried and wouldn't let him go

Life is all about adjusting...after all I have a junior next in line and time to start the process all over again.
Homecoming is fast approaching and I also have a freshman daughter who is in a school now with senior BOYS!!!!
A 5th grader who is in his last year of elementary so I crazily sign on to any and all volunteer positions...*sigh*... what was I thinking? Can I declare temporary insanity based on the fact that had just dropped my eldest at college and realized my youngest was in his last year of elementary? insanity..... INSANITY I SAY!!!!!!

This is my life... This is our life!

1 comment:

mayberry said...

HEY! Look who posted! Glad to hear how things are going. Keep those updates coming.